Dating in Toronto can feel like getting a root canal, after leaving an infection unattended for weeks. Dramatic? Perhaps, but for most single ladies (and gents), they are having a harder time meeting a potential mate more than ever. It can feel painful.
So, what makes it hard to date in Toronto?
For starters, Technology. We live in a world governed by technology. We are so connected and yet so disconnected. We are so used to communicating through text, emails and/or online dating sites that we no longer know how to approach someone attractive in real life. We immediately go inward and shyly walk away. Too afraid to be ‘seen’.
We don’t bother putting ourselves out there in fear of being rejected. Easier to ignore the feeling of rejection from a screen than face-to-face.
Our Interaction. Getting to know someone over a screen is very different than face-to-face. How people share their story, their facial expressions and mannerisms can help create a bond that texting won’t. Chemistry happens in person – not through messaging. We’ve all been there – you text and even have a phone conversation with someone for a couple of days, feel extremely connected and then when you finally meet in person, it flatlines.
Afraid of Commitment. Our generation has created a big cloud over the word “commitment”. People are afraid of labels – they feel like being labeled as in an exclusive and committed relationship means they no longer have any freedom or are stuck.
We’ve made sex and dating so accessible that we’ve lost touch with what it’s like to want more than casual fun with someone. Imagine being able to appreciate the connection you can have with someone who you feel truly connected with.
This too is very much connected to rejection. We are afraid of an ending before we even get started.
Numerous Options. With the number of options in Toronto, no one bothers to put the effort in to dating. We’re too busy looking for the next best thing. What’s the point in putting in effort when there is surely someone available on the next swipe?
There was a time when you met someone and you wanted to try everything to impress them. No distractions. Just you and your interest in them. Getting to know someone was fun. Easy.
Options aren’t bad, but focusing on multiple people will mostly likely leave you scratching your head wondering why it never works.
Money. Living in a city like Toronto usually means all your money goes to rent or food. Even just grabbing a quick coffee is expensive. Unless you take them to Tim Horton — and we all know how that date will end.
With so many great trendy cafes and bars in Toronto, picking the perfect spot can feel intimidating and financially draining. So people stick to one coffee kind of date, which can make dating feel like a “numbers game”.
“Too Busy” We’re all too busy. It’s a fast paced city where everyone is fighting to get to the top. But the “top” can feel like a lonely place if you make it all the way to the top alone.
If you want a real relationship, then you’ll have to make the time. Put yourself out there. I know that it’s not always easy, but it’s better than sitting at home every night watching Netflix alone.
I know it can be painful dating in Toronto, but don’t be discouraged. Just know that you’re not alone on this island.
Also published in: The6ix.ca