We are all individuals making sense of the world as we know it. We are making sense of it through our own perspective and our own history.
Communication is an important factor in any relationship and often couples take it for granted. Whether one shuts down during conflict or screams in fury during conflict, it's all part of how we were conditioned to deal with conflict. Our actions often mirror are previous behaviours and how we deal with others. More so, we often choose partners for a specific reason: familiarity or projection of oneself.
So, how do we learn to communicate? By understanding ourselves better and our partner.
I often tell couples I work with, "It's ok to fight. But how you fight is what matters." It's important to understand each other's way of protecting themselves and also their own personal triggers.
Having an open communication with your partner is essential in better understanding their needs.
Couple's therapy is about learning to understand each other's behaviour and how it can and will impact the other. Learning to communicate better with one another.