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How to Detox Your Ex

We've all been there - that heart wrenching feeling when a relationship comes to an end.

Breakups aren't easy and it's normal to feel empty, sad and hurt. In fact, allowing your feelings to be present is actually healthy. It means you will be able to process them and move past the hurt and pain of the break up with time.

When we make the decision to eat healthier or live a more balanced life, we think of detoxing first, removing the things in our system that no longer serve us and just like that, we need to detox our past relationships.

Detoxing your past relationship allows you to take control and begin to put you first. For the last little bit you've been a "we" or "us" - now, it's about you being a "me" or "I".

How to detox your ex:

  • Remove your ex from all social media. If you're not ready or don't want to completely remove them for practice reasons then limit their access to your profile and most importantly yours to theirs.

  • No contact. None. Unless it's about exchanging stuff - if not, then there is no reason you two need to be in contact. Unless kids are involved, it's time to cut the strings and move forward.

  • Pack up all their stuff. Either keep some items if you're sentimental like notes, cards, pictures. But all other items... time to pack it up and pass it along.

  • Make a list of all the reasons it didn't work! Even if they broke up with you - go back into the mental archives and think about all those times you were mentally "done" or the moments they disappointed you or you felt unmatched. Why do this? Because there will be moments you'll start missing them - it's part of the process. By making this list now while it's fresh on your mind, you'll be able to come back to it and review it. Remind yourself why it ended.

  • Spend time with friends and family. You can even Reconnect with those you've lost touch. Often we disconnect from certain friends when we get into a relationship.

  • Take care of you! Yup, this is your time. Time to rebuild and reconnect with your single self. Jumping back on the dating apps or dating in general might not be the best way to move on, believe or not. Take this time to rediscover you. Do things you love. Self care. Self care. Self care.

  • Mourn. Yup. This one might be the hardest. You have to feel it and process it. Cry. Be sad. Be angry. Be whatever you need to be. The ending of a relationship is just that - an ending. It's a loss. Like any loss, it requires time to heal. So, give yourself that time.

  • Talk it out. As tempting as it might feel to stay in and ignore the world around you, do that and then go out or call a friend and talk it out. It's important to process logically as well as emotionally. Talking about how you are feeling helps you make sense of your situation and will help you find motivation to move forward.

  • Most importantly, be gentle with yourself. You may slip up and regress from your detox - you're human after all. Allow yourself the room to be human and the time to heal.

The longer you stay holding on to your ex, the longer the healing process will take. It won't be easy at first to move forward, but in the end, it's worth it.

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