- Clarinda Brandão
Top 10 Behaviours That Can Drive Away Your Partner
Whether we do it intentionally or not, there are certain behaviours that can drive away your partner. Reality is no one is perfect.
These tops 10 mistakes can create an unhealthy relationship if they're not addressed;
Being Over Critical of Your partner: When you're constantly criticizing your partner or picking on them, it eventually starts to create a lot of hurt and uncertainty. So instead of asking them why they 'can't seem to do anything right' out of anger or frustration - pay attention to the things they are doing and acknowledge.
Never Apologizing or Admitting You're Wrong: Apologizing and recognizing when you've made a mistake makes all the difference. None of us are perfect. If you never recognize your faults, your partner will hold back admitting their own - this will merely cause more strain on the relationship.
Keeping Big Secrets From Your partner: There are some things that are ok to keep private, after all, we are still an individual. But it's important not hold on to the big stuff. Like you wouldn't want to lie to your partner. Lying means you're hiding something and that can cause more than a fight depending on the lie (secret).
Only Thinking of Yourself: If you're always putting yourself first, your partner won't feel like they matter or are important. Soon they'll feel forced to put themselves first and that might mean leaving the relationship.
Not Speaking Up: Speaking up about what you're feeling can sometimes be difficult in fear of what your partner might say or feel; but holding on to things will only make matters worse. What you're not willing to share now will definitely come back, But with added resentment and anger. If you keep bottling up your feelings, it'll come at the worst time. Speak up, clear the air and say what is on your mind - it's better for the both of you down the line.
Withholding Sex to Manipulate Your Partner: Intimacy is an important part of any relationship, withholding sex because you're trying to prove a point is unhealthy. If you have to use sex to get your way, it may be time to start thinking of ways to get your partner to pay attention or to understand what you're asking of them.
Not Open to Discussing Disagreements: If you're closed up and don't try to sort through a disagreement, it will merely come up a few days or weeks later. Arguments don't have a place where they go to die... unless you deal with them. But let's be clear, this does not mean hours of cycling through the issue. Learning how to fight in a relationship is a skill in communication.
Not Keeping Promises: Keeping your promise is a valuable asset in your relationship. It creates and sustains trust. If you constantly break your promises, your partner will eventually begin to lessen their trust and other areas of the relationship will begin to suffer. Make it a habit to only promise when you mean it and try to keep them.
Being Negative or Constantly Complaining: Having a negative outlook all the time can have a negative impact on the relationship. If you're constantly negative and having negative reactions, soon your partner will start to feel the weight. You don't have to be happy all the time, but maybe try to understand yourself a little better and where all the negativity might be coming from. Complaining counts too, if you're finding yourself complaining about everything they're doing, something more is going on. Sometimes we pick on things and nag because there are other more important needs that are not being met. This might be a good time for #5 to come into action.
Not Making an Effort: Just because you've been together a long time, it's important to still make an effort, whether that means doing something extra special for your partner or dressing up and going out together.
Relationships take work, but with patience and understanding, it can strive.