We often read articles on how to make women happy, but what about men? I work with many men in individual therapy and/or coaching and have come to understand what men want in a partner. Here are some of things I've picked up over the years that men talk about and want.
Make him feel like a man. I know we all want to feel independent and strong, but it's ok to let him open a jar of pickles or put up that shelf. Show that you need him. Small tasks make men feel useful and helpful. Despite what you may think, men like feeling needed too.
Desire him. Surprise him with a sexy text or picture throughout the day letting him know you're thinking about him. Let him know he is desired.
Please him too. Intimacy is important and pleasing your partner is a great way to show him you love him. Find out what he likes and surprise him.
Let it go. Don't hold on to the past or grudges. We can find ourselves bringing up past behaviours into new fights, but those should be left in the past. Try to address issues as they come and work together to process them so they don't linger.
Initiate. Be the one to initiate plans or intimacy. Don't always wait for him to make the first move.
Give him space. Men often need some time alone after a big fight or just some time for themselves. Don't take it personally and let them have their space.
Express yourself. If you're upset, don't have him guessing. Just be upfront and let him know why you're upset and be open to discussing it. The quicker you communicate about what is bothering you, the quicker you can move on.
Take care of him. Men often become big sucks when they're sick. Let them. Give them some extra attention. Let them know that they can count on you and it's ok for them to be vulnerable.
Share yourself with them. Tell them about your day. Share your thoughts and feelings. Despite what most people think, men do in fact like listening and knowing how your day went and what you're feeling.
Let them help. Men are logical. More often than not, you'll be venting and they'll start throwing solutions your way, when all you really want is an ear, but appreciate his logic and solution based approach too. He wants to make you feel better in the best way he knows how.
Invest in their interests. Learn about the things they like to do and invest in sharing some of those interests with him.
Be romantic. Men like romance too. Placing small post-it notes with sweet or naughty comments in his bag or around the house is a great way to make him feel special. Think of creative and romantic ways to show him he's cared for.
Ask him. The best way to truly know how to love your partner is to ask them.
Though these are meant for your partner, it's important that your needs are being met as well. Talk about what is important for both of you and go from there.